NOISEAPE'S FORGOTTEN NOISE & MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS!
OLD TOWER: the rise of the specter LP (Tour De Garde / The Shadow Kingdom/NL/2017)
I got in touch with this hermit who lives somewhere in the woods of Hilversum (Dutchtopia) through a séance session. This individual gave me this ancient looking black wax relic. It contained music he made on his medieval keyboard in his torture chamber. I’m pretty sure if Bela Lugosi got his claws on this slab of blackened wax, he would have a vampiric erection for a week. This relic contains medieval gothic hammer horror dungeon synth stuff. Good shit for a black mass in some foggy old castle, or satanic ritual at your local monastery of doom. Where Count Yorga is playing the bone-organ of death, in the chamber of skulls. Bloody superior stuff!!! If you are into dungeon synth stuff and old horror soundtracks, you need to track this down for sure. Think this was lmtd.200 copies only. First ten copies came with a free coffin. No sweat, goes those are sold out already.WARPVOMIT: bestial triumph of evil LP (Iron Bonehead/Ger/201666)
This is what you get if Satan hooks up with early Napalm Death, pure bestial savagery of the most unholy kind!! This is how ultra violence sounds like. Hammers of the antichrist beating the skulls of the weak minds, while sonic chainsaws rip through the flesh of the religious slaves. If you like to get fucn def by the sounds of early Beherit, Blasphemy and Napalm Death, grab this evil weapon of atomic destruction right now!! Contains the bands unreleased MLP and ear splitting demo tape. Pure noise satisfactory for the devastation of mankind!!
SMOKE EM IF YOU GOT EM (Ray Boseley/Aus/1988)
Superior post apocalypse satire!!! When the nuclear holocaust burns Oz to a crisp, a few blokes stumble upon a nuclear shelter where people are having a big party. It’s the party of their lifetime, literally! As the end is near, these friends have an excellent time, as there is plenty of booze, chicks and dope for everybody. Plus there is a cool new wave/punk band as well for radioactive entertainment. Dance, dance dance until the final flash of human extinction.
BODY MELT (Philip Brophy/Aus/1993
Crazy flick about a little suburb town where people become guinea pigs for a fucked new experimental vitamin supplement that has been deployed by a vicious company. When ingested your body slowly melts away or explodes. Packed with some excellent gore, inbred locals, tits, tentacles, mutant baby, slime and a detective that is trying his best to sort shit out. If you like Street Thrash, Bad Taste and Slime City, you need to check this out baby. Fun for the whole family and great comments on various social topics.
B-MOVIE ORCHESTRA: dr jekyll and sister hyde LP (Sounds Haarlem Likes Vinyl/NL/2016)
The B-Movie’s 3rd album is a total listening pleasure. If these folks are new to you, they hail from Dutchtopia and play all these obscure 60’s/70’s b-movie tunes. Mostly from old Italian crime/giallo/exploitation treasures. Accompanied with the sexy voices of the Cinematic Fever Girls, Baz Mattie and his orchestra brings you a variety of nothing but the finest in raunchy jazz/big band, psychotronic beat and other exotic tunes from the glorious days of movie magic and drive in trash. If you love the music from Nico Fidenco, Brunno Nicolay and Riz Ortolani, then this is something to track down. Also highly recommended to check these guys out live when they play your local theatre. Not only plenty of ear candy, but enough eye candy as well. Especially those sexy bond girls!!
VIRGINS OF THE SEVEN SEAS (Ernst Hofbauer/Chi-Hung Kuei/Ger/HK/1974)
Completely demented mix up of sexploitation and kung fu fighting. This is not what Carl Dougles had in mind, but damn I fucn love this. You got your euro 70’s sex babes that are captured by a bunch of evil Chinese pirates. The girls are sold and set to work as prostitutes at a local whorehouse. There they learn the skills of kung fu, by a local chick who wants to help the girls escape from the pervert weirdo’s that run the place. Packed with “Shaw Bro’s” style fighting, nudity, tits, ass, German dubbed Chinese man and sexy karate chicks (who actually seem to have some real skills). PARTY HARDY FLICK!!
PONTIUS PIRATE: pterodactyl island LP (Backwoods Butcher+more/USA/2015)
This sounds like your favorite Christian rock band, only this is 100.000.000 times better!!! Imagine if Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple and Fleetwood Mac where real mongoloids and had actually real intelligent lyrics about stupid shit. Then it would pretty much sound like this demented horde of psychonauts. This is ROCK with the C of cock in it, and it sounds way more heavy then a brain-melting session with Mr. Spock!! This is first class musicianship by those fine folks of Sockeye, The TV Watchers and Fossil Fuel. Wipe the Kiss make up of your fucn face, burn a cigarette in your eyeball and eat mushrooms to fully understand, this epic musical landscape of Sombrero Man!! AMEN.THE UNSANE: inverted crosses MLP (New Renaissance Recs/USA/1988)
One piece of underrated and forgotten nasty death/thrash metal from the glorious past. Injected by a healthy dose of barbaric mayhem and hardcore violence. We get 6 chunks of basic and simple, but truly ass kicking thrashing madness with pissed vox that summons the Neanderthal cave beast who chews skulls on a Sunday morning for breakfast. If you dig 80’s raw speedcore, thrash and early metal of death. Then this is one you need to check out!! LEGIONS OF VIOLENCE!!!!!!
THE LOST EMPIRE (Jim Wynorski/USA/1983)
One of the best movies ever made and for sure the best one by Mr Wynorski. Put your brain on super intelligent mode and enjoy the ride as this is pure cinematic gold. I remember well, way back in the golden era of video rental at Video World in Leiden. Where we discovered this masterpiece on VHS, together with “Vul Al Mijn Gaatjes” and “Shocking Asia” and other classics! I was impressed by the production values and all the boobs!! Anyway, this one is about a hot chick that goes after the ninja’s that killed her cop brother. Together with the help of her sexy team of martial arts experts, she goes after the bad guys on a remote island. Where the evil Dr, Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) is planning to take over the world with his deadly penis shaped lasergun! Plus he likes virgin girls with big boobs, which is OK with me as it happens to sprout some superior cinematic delight for us all to enjoy. Did I mention there is a guy in a gorilla suit in it as well!! BEER & BONG JACKPOT BABY!!!!!!!
CANNIBAL MERCENARY (Hong Lu Wong/Thai/1983)
This must be Darth Vaders fave jungle war flick for sure. An ex super soldier goes for his last jungle war adventure to get some money together for his sick kid. Our Thai Rambo is after a ruthless drug lord with an army of cannibals, that terrorize the locals. With his elite group of misfits he is off to the green inferno to kick ass and get slaughtered. Incredibly bad but with hilarious dubbing and fucked up editing. Packed with gore and ultra violence, we have ourselves a real winner in jungle war adventure here!. Maggot eating fun and the “drink my piss and suck my balls” scene is fucn sick. Just as the freaky looking guy tacking his pecker out, or the guy that got stabbed in the dick! Yes kids, you are in for some bloody good time!! DEMENTED STUFF!!! They even recycle some Goblin tunes!
BEAR ISLAND (Don Sharp/Can/UK/1979)
Cool and completely overlooked adventure flick with Donald Sutherland and Christopher Lee. A group of scientist is send out to Bear Island, somewhere in the Artic Circle, to check out an old nazi submarine base. One by one our scientists mysteriously get killed and when they discover there is some hidden treasure involved in all the murdering, they know they are knee deep in snowy shit. Love the story and the location. The propeller snowboats kick ass and so does the skeletons of dead Nazis on the sub. A real forgotten adventure treasure!!!
BLOOD DINER (Jackie Kong/USA/1987)
Hilarious splatter comedy from the same director that brought us THE BEING!!! Fans of BLOOD FEAST and FRANKENHOOKER will not be disappointed. Two friends that run a “veggie” diner are on a mission to resurrect the ancient goddess Shitaar. With the help of their dead uncle’s brain (in a jar), our friend are on the hunt for virgin flesh and body parts. It's up to police agent Janet Jackson to stop this madness! Packed with stupid fun, tits and plenty of gore. A real party hit for your screen here!! BEER & BONG UBER CLASSIC!!!!!!
THE CHAIN REACTION (Ian Barry/Aus/1980)
Excellent Ozploitation flick from the glorious 80’s. Her Schmidt escapes the WALDO nuclear plant after an accident and is contaminated by nuclear waste he took a shower in. He escapes the plant to warn the world about impending nuclear doom, as the waters around the plant will be contaminated. But due to the nuclear poisoning he has lost his brain and has no clue of what the fuck he is doing. A car mechanic and his sexy wife pick him up after he sneaks into their little vacation cottage. Not knowing what’s going on and what danger they are involved in. Meanwhile some bad guys from WALDO are after her Schmidt, and want to cover things up and eliminate him, before the whole world knows about the accident at the plant. Great 80’s nuclear paranoia, Mad Max like car chases (inc some cameos by Mad Max folks like Mel Gibson as a car mechanic),cool action and some nudity to top it off! Also on a technical level, this movie is a real blast. It has some real cool shots and camera angles and the cool soundtrack makes this one not to forget!
WONDER WOMEN (Robert Vincent O’Neill/Philip/1973)
More Filipino madness with WONDER WOMEN!!!! Dr. Tsu, a mad scientist and her army of sexy kung fu dolls, kidnap athletes for their body parts. As Dr Tsu found a way to transplant any body part she wants. An insurance investigator for Lloyd's of London is send in to stop the madness. Sort of a James bond on acid, he goes after Dr. Tsu and her gang of sexy killers with his double barrel gun and no gadgets. Stars Sid Haig and Vic Diaz and loads of other familiar faces from the B-movie universe. Hot 70’s chicks, mutants, awesome action (inc a guy hit by a car) and the best looking operation room in movie history. If they ever going to cut off my balls, Satan, please let it be at Dr. Tsu’s hospital of brain sex pleasure!!!!!
SPACE RAIDERS (Howard Cohen/USA/1983)
OH YEAH!! My fellow space freaks, here is a delightful forgotten sci fi treasure of the Star Wars kind. A young boy is caught up in a cosmic adventure, when he accidently gets stuck on Colonel Hawk’s his spaceship! Embarking on a wild mission through the galaxy and beyond. Packed with awesome space battles (with stock footage and music stolen from that other Corman classic “Battle Beyond The Stars”), wicked aliens, laser gun fights, spaceship with boobs on it (Nell) and tons of cosmic excitement. We have a real forgotten VHS classic you don’t want to miss. Only thing that is missing are some naked space babes and some pubic hair. But man does this movie deserve a 9/10 rating or what on IMDB!! There is even a Cantina like space-bar scene! The FX are awesome and the foam coated aliens look cool. I was born for this type of stuff, and I will die watching this type of stuff. SO FUCK YOU!!!! SPACE IS THE PLACE BABY!!!
SORCERESS (Brian Stuart/USA/1982)
Friends of bad taste cinema, here is another highlight from the cinematic sewers that will please the fans of such epic masterpieces as BARBARIAN QUEEN and Luigi Cozzi’s HERCULES. A completely mind boggling sword & sorcery adventure of the naughty kind. Two sexy twin barbarian babes, who like to show their melons are on the hunt for the evil wizard Traigon, who killed their mother when they where kids. With the help of the funny Viking, goatboy and Erik the barbarian they battle evil, rubber monkeys with laughing-gas bananas and the warriors of the living dead! This all happens while the soundtrack from Battle Beyond The Stars plays in the background. Did I mention this has some cool decapitations, nunchucks, nympho warriors, bad acting, psychotronic FX , slapstick humor, tits, ass, orgasm by telepathy, black magic rituals and great lines. The end battle between the flying head that shoots lasers from its mouth, and the rubber winged lion that shoots lightning from his eyes. Is a legendary moment in cinema and should have gotten the Oscar for best acting! ABSOLUTLY NOT WATCH SOBER!! BEER & BONG UBER CLASSIC!!!HANGAR 18 (James L. Conway/USA/1980)
Lost sci fi/conspiracy treasure for fans of CAPRICORN ONE, TWILIGHT ZONE and X FILES. Two astronauts are witnesses to a outer space “carcrash” when an UFO hits a satellite and kills one if their astronaut buddies. The UFO crash-lands on earth and is found, but the government covers it up for public and for the two astronauts. Of course our two astronaut friends want to know what happened but nobody gives the right answers and they start to do their own investigation. Getting knee deep in shit! With Robert “born in space” Vaugn as one of the bad guys, so you cant go wrong. 80’s space paranoia from the director of THE BOOGENS.
CAPTAIN CLEGG (Peter Graham Scott/UK/1962)
Shiver me timbers lady, this is a whole different pirate tale. The story of Captain Clegg. People die at a coastal town and its up to Captain Collier and his men to sort shit out. He thinks there is some smuggling going on, but the towns people see the living dead ride their horses through the swamp. Excellent but forgotten about Hammer studios adventure epic, with a creepy atmosphere. With the always great Peter Cushing as pirate Captain Clegg. Also stars ultra sexy Yvonne Romain. If you dig pirate flix and those lost adventure classics you would see on a Saturday afternoon as a kid, then this is a must see treasure!
THE KINDRED (Stephen Carpenter & Jeffrey Obrow/USA/1987)
Some professor mom, calls for her son at her deathbed and orders him to destroy all her lab notes of some horrible experiment gone awesomely wrong. She also tells him about a brother he didn’t know about. The next day he and a couple of friends go to his mother’s house and HOLY SHIT!!! Are they in for a big surprise (smile!!). THE KINDRED is a completely forgotten about horror monster flick, with great special FX, with nasty rubber critters, crazy mutants and a big nasty monster that turns out to be his lost brother! This one has tons of slime (its raining slime, hallelujah) and tentacles so you know it’s a classic! Check out the tagline: “God created man. Wait till you see what Amanda’s done”!!!!!! Get yourself a big fat spliff and some La Chouffe and enjoy this one late at night!! UBER CLASSIC!!
DESTINATION INNER SPACE (Francis D. Lyon/USA/1966)
If you liked The Abyss, Deep Star Six and Leviathan, you need to get off your lazy ass, stop watching Free Willy and track down this grandmother of underwater madness. When a team of divers from an underwater laboratory stumble upon a UFO, things go bad. Soon our underwater scientist needs to battle the blood thirsty alien sea creature and stop touching his eggs. The monster is awesome looking and I need that suit for carnival, so I can bumb against those hot Brazilian bootylicious samba babes… aaaarrrggghhh my brain cells are wondering off. Underwater monster treasure from the drive in days!!
FEMALE PRISONER #701: SCORPION (Shunya Ito/JAP/1972)
A beautiful stylish but underrated Japanese WIP movie. After falling in love with a corrupt detective our female lead, sexy Meiko Kaji (Lady Snowblood) has to infiltrate the local yakuza, but gets screwed by her double-crossing lover and ends up in jail. Boiling with hatred and revenge she overcomes the harsh environment of the female prison where sadistic wardens torture and humiliate the female prisoners, so she can have her ultimate revenge. A real cinematic work of art, packed with female flesh and violence. The yakuza rape scene and betrayal by her lover are outstanding pieces of cinematic pleasure and total eye candy. This was the first one in a series of three movies, followed up by FEMALE CONVICT SCORPION JAILHOUSE 41 and FEMALE PRISONER SCORPION #701: GRUDGE SONG. Highly recommended!!!
SPLIT SECOND (Tony Maylam/UK/1992)
Always liked Rutger Hauer, not goes he is from Dutchtopia, but the fact that the guy always looks and acts fucn mental and is a total maniac! No exception in this completely forgotten about sci fi/action/thriller. Good old Rutger plays a bad ass cop who is on the hunt for some alien freak that likes to rip out the hearts of sexy sluts and carve his initials in peoples chest. Yeah its one of those monsters goes ape in the city flix and a fucking solid one!! Also stars sexy Kim Cattrall showing her boob for a second in the shower and the monsters that looks like Aliens cousin, isn’t that bad as well. It’s packed with great one liners by Hauer and nonstop action and big guns!!! SUPERIOR B-MOVIE FUN!!!!!!
BLOODSUCKERS FROM OUTER SPACE (Glen Coburn/USA/1984)
Hilarious low budget space zombie fun for the whole family. Strange cosmic winds turn Texas farmers into weirdo blue zombie freaks, desperate for warm blood. It’s up to our hero and his girl to stay alive while some nuke hungry general wants to blow our blue zombie rednecks to smithereens. It might have no budget but it’s has some cool gore, stupid zombies, great jokes and a shit load of weirdo’s!! BEER & BONG UBER CLASSIC!!!!!!
DALEKS’ INVASION EARTH 2150 A.D. (Gordon Flemyng/UK/1966)
Second DR WHO film with good old Peter Cushing as the dr from outer space! This one is fucn great! The Daleks are kick ass with their toilet plumber arm and fire extinguisher gun, rolling around yelling EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE. Anyway, Dr. Who and co, pick up a cop and warp themselves with the Tardis into future and step out into a destroyed London city. Responsible for all the destruction is an invasion by the evil Daleks, “the killer trashcans” from outer space. Who enslave England’s population to work in the mines or turn them into an army of lobotomized freaks. It’s up to Dr. Who and his friends from the resistance to stop the invasion and destroy all Daleks. This one has cool FX, even for Dr. Who standards, check out the Daleks mothership!! AWESOME!!!! No tits and pussy carpets in this one but I can live with that goes it has DALEKS!!!!!!!!! DR WHO TO THE RESCUE!THE TERRORNAUTS (Montgomery Tully/UK/1967)
A group of scientists discover a distress call from outer space on their radio telescope. Soon the team gets kidnapped and beamed over to a giant space station inhabited by weirdo looking robots. They soon learn that this ancient space station is the only barrier against an invading force that has its tentacles pointed out at planet earth. Will they be able to save earth and battle the invaders or has mankind already taken its last breath? For a low budget sci fi flick this has some real cool sets and FX. The robot is insane looking, a crossbreed of satellite and TV antenna. Also did you know that Martian skeletons are green? No, so did I until I watched this movie. Great piece of 60’s sci fi entertainment!!HERESIARCH: hammer of intransigence MLP + waelwulf EP (Iron Bonehead/Ger/2014)
Last friday, having my “evening off”, getting stoned and wasted and listening to the new pile of records that arrived in the mail. I did a new discovery (yeah sorry, I tend to stick with the old treasures) and was completely blown off my socks by this evil horde of destruction by the name of HERESIARCH who play ultra brutal black/death like Revenge, Conquer, Blasphemy, Diocletian and Witchrist (last two also from New Zealand). I don’t know what’s in the water in New Zealand or that they watch too much Lord Of The Rings? But fucking all the angel-sluts in heaven, these guys hammer out some ultra violent death/grind/noise assault that brings to mind “realm of chaos” (Bolt Thrower) in terms of chaos and destruction, and when this horde of orcs and necromancers come to a stop to plunder, rape and burn down the place, they sodomize your hearing with ultra death doom devastation, to crush the remaining life out of human existence. That’s what’s going on with the MLP. With the new EP they even delve deeper in the catacombs of hell itself and you can clearly here the echo’s of torturing souls who’s flesh gets burned off in the eternal fires of the death pit, while the tree nippled Gorgon stirs the soup of human decay and Satans semen. Now if that sounded like poetry to your ears? you need to check out this band right away! Otherwise just stick to your Stryper records and be a slave! Bonus points for the incredible LP artwork!!!
FERETRUM: from far beyond LP (Black Mass Recs/Me Saco Un Ojo Recs/SP-UK/2013)
Can you believe it? This was originally released on tape only!! (lmtd 100) back in 1992 on some obscure Spanish label. Jesus and co did a great job re-releasing this epic masterpiece of rotten metal of death for the rest of the world to hear this treasure on vinyl, where it belonged on in the first place. This obscure death metal trio hails from Spain and prior to this milestone of devastation the band released 2 demos’ that were not half as good as this audiosonic graveyard of decaying corpses and haunted houses. Very atmospheric death, that reminds me of a mix of early Entombed, Obituary and Death. For some obscure metal album this has an excellent production, filthy, mudded but clear as hell. It’s a mystery to me why this didn’t get picked up back in 1992 by a bigger label and released on CD/LP. Well fuck it, it’s here now so better grab a copy before it’s gone and you can only find it on CD.LIVING DEATH: vengeance of hell LP (High Roller Recs/GER/2014)
If you want to spare your original copy of this heavy/speed metal classic now is your chance. HRR just re-released the first two Living Death albums. I know the critics go for the second one “Metal Revolution”, but I will stick to this one, VENGEANCE OF HELL! Sure the vocals can be a little stupid. The guy is not the greatest singer in speed metal land, almost hilarious!!! but hell, these guys do deliver some awesome heavy/speed metal massacre. With influences from Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Accept these freaks rock hard!!! Plus lyrics like Riding A Virgin and Heavy Metal Hurricane make your balls sweat in your leather pants from excitement!! Plug in your air guitar and have a beer-shower and sing along with YOU AND ME, THE DEVIL SEE!!!!!!!!
POWER FROM HELL: the true metal (Dark Sun/BRA/2004)
You jerk off on early BATHORY and VENOM stop wanking and listen to these metal maniacs from Brazil that deliver some filthy blackened thrash/speed metal overdose that would even make Cronos smile while facing death himself. No polished shit just pure metal filth, leather and spikes that rip your virgin flesh apart while raping your ears with guitar thunder and evil spells. You know you’re doomed with Power From Hell, Prostitute Of Satan and Nucleos Of The Evil!!!! Satanic friendly metal for the delirious and the demented on this rotten earth!
PROFANATOR: deathplagued LP (Iron Bonehead/GER/2010)
I was blown away by this record when I scored this from Iron Bonehead, my number one metal merchant. Nothing original, just total Slayer worshipping thrash metal massacre!!! Holy shit these Mexican drug lords know how to decapitate their enemies with machetes and blow you away with some excellent played thrash Slayer could dream of doing today (and on their last 7 albums). 10 headbangers to slam dance and break your neck on. PLAY FUCKING LOUD!!!!!!!
NUCLEAR MAGICK: priests of the bomb LP (Iron Bonehead/Ger/2011)
The bands 2010 demo tape raped my tape deck for weeks so I was happy when this radioactive piece of metal was sealed in wax to listen to for the centuries to come. Maybe in the future on a nuclear power driven turntable. Nuclear Magick is an obscure horde of nuclear scientists from Germany that in their spare time play some occult black metal with apocalyptic doom parts thrown in for that “end of the world” feeling and to praise the nuclear bomb they love so much. There some cool gloomy intro’s and classical pieces thrown in for extra atmosphere. Hop into your backyard bomb shelter with enough beer and Pringles to survive the fall out and enjoy this record while the world crumbles underneath your feet and hordes of radioactive zombies rule the wastelands.ZOLDIER NOIZ: schizoid reject LP (Forgotten Wisdom Productions/FR/2009)
More post apocalyptic metal from this French horde of road warriors and Bronx executioners. These guys play filthy metal punk/thrash that is a radioactive mix of Motorhead and Voivod with some Amebix , Corrosion Of Conformity and Deviated Instinct thrown in. I would call it stench-metal. Love their filthy punk sound and attitude. Hope they still exist and surprise me with some new record of stinking rusty scrap metal noiz!!!THIRD SIGHT: chillin with dead bodies in a b-boy stance 2xLP (Expanded Art Records/Ger/2013)
My fave hip hop album from 2013 (originally released as a downloadable album in 2012 by the band). This is the sickest of the sick in hip hop world to me at the moment together with Immortal Technique. This is one hell of a mentally deranged platter with the craziest rhymes and sickest flows and packed with nasty beats that beat you to pulp or just go slow and low or off beat jazzy/creepy/freaky thanx to DJ Styles en co. Jihad raps are insane, the guy just goes on and on without interruption fucking your brain with crazy shit and weird stories. Tracks like Honey Aficionado, I Got A Lot Of Yen and Jeepers Peepers are true pieces of art and shows superior skills. Check these guys out if you like your hip hop dark and freaky!!RUTH WHITE: flowers of evil LP (Black Mass Rising/FR/2013)
Thanx to the kind folks of Black Mass Rising I was able to get my tentacles on this cosmic noise treasure. Ruth White was a pioneering female electronic music freak who did a couple of great albums inc. this macabre occult cosmic noise trip. Put on your space suit and step into the weird gloomy universe of misses Ruth mental breakdown put on tape back in the year 1969. The year Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. Pretty sure he listened to this when he was flying around in his Apollo 11 star cruiser. Electronic space waves, freak bleeps, analog sounds and alien percussions and misses Ruth doing Charles Baudelaire poems with Dalek voice going mental. Great stuff to listen to when you are stoned or just want to space away.CALIBRO 35: traditori di tutti LP (Recordkicks/IT/2013)
I discovered this band while on a hunt for soundtrack music and stumbled upon this excellent Italian group that plays 60’s/70’s jazz /funk /soul / soundtrack stuff. You know those cool car chase tunes from those old police and detective movies or Giallo movie type soundtrack stuff. These guys do it 100% authentic sounding and on this baby there are only great songs to be found. My fave being Giulia Mon Amour. Check out this record if you are into swinging funky soundtrack grooves from those old euro crime movies!INFECTED PUSSY: touch me (Panx/FR/1996)
Holy shit Jesus!! Funny as fuck French noisecore stupidity from a forgotten era in time and space. Packed with silly intros and retarded intermezzo’s. 52 crazy tunes of stupid noisecore hilarities that can only be appreciated by people with no taste for decent music and a good sense of humor. To bad they didn’t do more 7” platters. Excellent noise madness!VA/ NOISE AGAINST THE MACHINE: compilation EP (Inner Aural Combustion Records/Ger/1995)
Another musical challenge to listen to for any pop punk bastard. 48 band compilation that reminds me of those superior BLLLEEEUUUAAARRRGGGHHHH compilations that Slap A Ham did. 48 grind/noisecore hit masters doing a lousy 134 songs to damage your hearing with and making your parents getting worried thinking you are on drugs or something for liking this crap. Personally I wish this was a 5x LP box set. This has KKF, YESMEANSYES, NOISE WASTE, ORAL CLIMAX, STROBODEATH, DECHE CHARGE, MASHER, ANAL MASSAKER, VENTILATOR, PISSED OFF ORGASM, PRAPARATION-H, WARSORE just to name a few + tons more horrible noise acts that makes me feel happy and alive! SUPERIOR COMP, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (Sidney Pink/USA-DK/1962)
The genius that brought us REPTILICUS now melts your remaining brain cells with another sci fi epic that almost beats Plan 9 From Outer Space!! It’s like Alice in Wonderland on Uranus with a stamp of bad acid melting on your tongue. A group of Danish astronauts having a good time tripping around Uranus when their minds get fucked by an evil giant brain from outer space. He fools em around with sexy chicks and freaky monsters trying to take over their ship to conquer earth with. Great late night entertainment full of demented shit, check out the cyclops rat-thing!! Wooden acting, bad dubbing, psychotronic brainwaves, state of the art FX. This is for the lovers of the bad and brainless cinematic fun. Grab your bowl of popcorn, roll a joint and grab a beer. Put your brain off and enjoy!!
SPACE TRUCKERS (Stuart Gordon/UK-IRE-USA/1996)
Forgotten about awesome space adventure. With the late great Dennis Hopper as the independent space trucker with a cargo of square pigs speeding on the cosmic highway. Our outlaw trucker and his friends get into all kinds of trouble on Triton and when they drive around space with a cargo of killer robots who want to destroy planet earth all hell breaks loose. It even has space pirates so you know it’s going to be a blast! The FX are great! Space ships, robots and laser blasts. Also love the cyborg nazi who can’t get his motorized dick up (just like a real nazi). Great campy space fun with a demented sense of humor. Fuck the critics, check it out yourself!!
THE FANTASTIC ARGOMAN (Sergio Grieco/It/1967)
Ultra campy fun with this outrageous superhero flick ARGOMAN!!! The new super hero legend from the groovy 60’s battle’s the evil and ultra sexy Jenabell who of course wants to conquer the world. She steals a giant diamond that she uses for her gamma dead ray and has plans to steal all the money from the French national bank with her army of S&M like freaks. Off duty Argoman is a real playboy and ladies killer and uses his telekinetic and magnetic super powers to lure sexy babes into his porno mansion down the coast. This is like Matt Helm mixed with Superman spoof on the rocks with some LSD thrown in for that extra groovy touch. Sexy women, funky outfits, cool looking robot, cheesy FX, great locations and awesome soundtrack make this campy highlight and a lot of fun to watch!!
When I first saw this flick late at night after my usual evening of drinking and getting stoned I thought it would be one of those 70’s grind house/exploitation movies but I was wrong. This one is a real cool tripping kind of artistic stoned movie about two very sexy hippie chicks that go on a ride with some lucky dude in his ultra deluxe mobile home bus. They get stranded in the Florida everglades and all kinds of trippy things happen good and bad that involves a lot of sexy time, getting naked, dance and enjoying life. In the meantime between all the dreamy hippie sequences we see some flashbacks of the characters giving them hints of who they are and what happened to them in the past. Low on the exploitation level but a real stoned one to watch when you are high! The soundtrack helps a lot as well. DAMN, Jill Senter and Gini Eastwood are a pair of foxy ladies!! NICE!!!!!
HASTUR: secta hereje LP (Putrescense Recs/USA/2013)
Putrescense records surprised me a couple of times before with forgotten about noise treasures such as Repugnancia EP and the awesome Contumacy EP!! Now they have been digging deep into the Peruvian underground and unearthed this demented evil force known as HASTURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This slab of blackened wax contains the bands “Secta Hereje” demo from “87, 2 live cuts from Holocausto Metal show in “88 and a couple of rare rehearsal trx by Veneno Maldito from “84!! (the bands previous name before they turned into the beast known as HASTUR!!) As with all early South American death/thrash/black bands this shit is insanely demented and sloppy with ultra crude sound making this stuff even more psychotic and evil. I think they wanted to sound like Venom, Mercyful Fate and Black Sabbath but due to their lacking skills, third world instruments and fucked up sound they turned into a horrendous filthy blackened heavy metal beast that breathes fire and eats placentas while splitting the skull of Virgin Mary. Primitive obscure deranged satanic occult evil molded in metal, that’s where HASTUR was all about. I even read that they desecrated the village main church on a full moon night! Track this piece of metal history down and get wasted on beer & bong and summon the forces of evil!!!!!!
THE KILLING OF SATAN (Efren C. Pinon/Phil/1983)
Psychotronic supernatural fantasy/horror brain melting dementia from the Philippines. Lando is your next door friendly neighbor who just happens to get these insane supernatural powers from a dead magician uncle. Now Lando’s daughter gets captured by some evil dude who happens to be Satan himself and his clan of maniacs. They want to sacrifice her virgin blood for the almighty but Lando has the powers of good and is ready to kick Satan in the balls. See Lando fight the crazy snake people, the lake zombie, reverse fire and battle the best looking Satan in movie history! Packed with mind boggling FX, see his uncle getting crushed by a rock! All kinds of weird rays shooting out people’s hands, godly shield of protection, Jesus Christ is turning in his grave of all the hilarious nonsense and badly dubbed voice over’s. Another movie treasure that needs to be seen!!!
ALLEGRO NON TROPPO (Bruno Bozetto/IT/1976)
Great surreal animation from the genius who brought us “Signor Rossi”!! (most tripping cartoon series I saw as a kid). Part real live action, part awesome tripping animation with some social critical commends and loads of satire thrown in. Making it a great stoned ride. Sort of a psychotronic version of Disney’s “Fantasia” going ape! Where a crazy theatre producer and his evil orchestra master take a cartoonist out of his dungeon and make him draw stuff on classical music, conducted by an orchestra of granny’s and there is a guy in a ape suit as well. Damn, it even has balloon boobs and the creation of live out of a thrown away Coca Cola bottle!! Get ready for a Vulcan mind meld and enter the universe of Bruno Bozetto!
ARABIAN ADVENTURE (Kevin Conner/UK/1979)
Another forgotten about Sunday afternoon classic adventure. With Christopher Lee as an evil magician sultan that wants all the power of the world. He needs to find the magical rose and sends out a prince who wants to have sexy time with his daughter and a young boy and his monkey after it. Peter Cushing shows up as well in this adventure that has some real cool FX. Check out the giant iron monsters on the island of doom and flying carpet battle!! I’m a sucker for adventure/fantasy shit and this one is no let down at all. There is a monkey in it as well! (=bonus points).